It is a couple minutes till midnight... gasp....I am still up!! So be my life the last couple of months. That is what happens when you lose a dear loved one. In my case my Mama. I have had hesitation in sharing this private aspect of my life right now. But it affects all facets of my life. I can't sleep and I am creating to keep myself sane. I find myself seeing her and being reminded of her in the smallest details. For instance a little tiny heart diecut that had fallen to the floor in the threshold of my craft room. I was convinced she put it there for me to see. I am always looking for signs. I feel close to her in my little room....she loved to sew and crochet. I think of her every day and tell her that I love her. I go to sleep with an old red sweater of hers cuddling it in my arms. These are the things that at one time I might not find to be normal...but... it is MY new normal. Taking each day as it comes. Trying to stay busy. The day she died I cleaned the house from top to bottom. Some type of self doubt of her being gone. Maybe if I clean fast enough and good enough I can change what has happened. Have control over an uncontrollable situation.
Tears come at the most inopportune of times. Being in our local Bi-mart staring at Hickory Farms sausage....she loved to buy that each year at Christmas. Tears start. Sausage made me cry....really? Sighhhh. It is what it is. So making Christmas cards come with a bitter sweetness knowing she will not be here for it. She loved red like I do...so I will deck my house with it! And I will know I will never get over it.....rather adapt to the loss each day. So with that .....I hope you will have patience for my posts and projects.
Tonight I am sharing a simple card.....one that I know my Mama would have loved......the terriers and the red....and all the cheerfullness. Those sweet dog buddies....telling each other I hope you get what you want....but "all I want for christmas is to be with you". I share those same feelings for this coming season. For my Mama.....but I know she will be with us in spirit. Thank you my friends for letting me share . I have wanted to for several weeks. As always I hope you enjoy my sweet card! Hugs, cherry